When was the last time you looked at your work—or yourself—and thought, “It’s good enough”?

For many of us, that’s a rare admission. The drive to be perfect—at work, at home, in our faith—can feel as constant as our heartbeat. But beneath the glossy surface of achievement lies a quiet exhaustion, one that’s become all too familiar in our modern world.

Psychologist Thomas Curran calls this relentless striving “the perfection trap.” In his recent book, he describes how social media, workplace competition, and even our closest relationships can quietly nudge us toward impossibly high standards. It’s no wonder that so many of us wind up feeling anxious, burned out, or never quite satisfied.

But is perfection really the goal? Or is there something richer to be found in embracing our imperfections? As it turns out, both modern psychology and timeless prophetic wisdom offer a gentler answer—one rooted in sincerity, compassion, and the courage to accept “good enough.” In this article, we’ll explore what it means to step out of the perfection trap, drawing insight from psychologists, celebrities, and the teachings of the prophets.

The Perfection Trap

In The Perfection Trap, Thomas Curran doesn’t just study perfectionism—he’s lived it. He describes himself as a “recovering perfectionist,” someone who spent years chasing unattainable standards and feeling the sting of falling short. For Curran, perfectionism isn’t about striving for excellence; it’s a mindset rooted in a constant sense of “not enough.”

Curran breaks down perfectionism into three forms from the Multidimensional Perfection Scale (Hewitt & Flett, 1991): self-oriented (demanding perfection from ourselves), other-oriented (expecting it from those around us), and socially prescribed (feeling pressure from the world to be flawless). It’s this last one—socially prescribed perfectionism—that’s spreading most rapidly, especially among young people in places like the UK, US, and Canada. Social media, academic pressure, and a culture that links self-worth to achievement have created a breeding ground for shame and self-sabotage. Many perfectionists, Curran notes, would rather hide their flaws than risk failing at something new.

He shares his own story of sacrificing relationships and well-being in the name of academic success, only to realize how empty that “victory” felt. In contrast, he remembers his grandfather—a woodworker whose joy came from the craft itself, not from anyone’s applause. High standards, Curran suggests, don’t have to be tangled up with anxiety or insecurity.

Perfectionism isn’t just a personal struggle. Curran points to wider forces—like the endless competition fostered by capitalism and the highlight reels of social media—that make it easy to forget our humanity. Some of his proposed solutions, like rethinking society’s obsession with growth, spark debate. But his everyday advice is more accessible: set realistic goals, practice self-compassion, and, above all, make time for the people and experiences that truly matter.

Insights from psychology

Curran’s observations aren’t isolated; they’re echoed in the wider world of psychology. Researchers Gordon Flett and Paul Hewitt, who have spent decades studying perfectionism, have found that the pressure to appear flawless—especially when it comes from society at large—often goes hand in hand with anxiety and depression, no matter where you live.

But there’s hope in the research, too. A recent study on resilience suggests that habits like mindfulness and self-compassion can actually soften perfectionism’s grip. When people learn to accept themselves—flaws and all—they become more resilient in the face of setbacks. Kristin Neff, a leading voice in self-compassion research, puts it simply: when we treat ourselves with kindness during moments of failure, we start to break free from the impossible standards perfectionism sets.

All these findings point in the same direction as Curran’s work: overcoming perfectionism isn’t just about changing our own habits. It also means challenging the broader social forces—like social media comparisons and relentless economic pressures—that feed our fear of not measuring up.

Celebrity examples of perfectionism

You don’t have to look far to see how perfectionism plays out in the public eye. Take Steve Jobs, for example. The visionary behind Apple was famous—sometimes infamous—for his obsession with getting every detail just right. His relentless pursuit of perfection led him to delay the launch of the original Macintosh by more than three years, determined that even the hidden parts of the computer should be beautiful. This drive sparked innovation but also came at a cost, straining relationships and pushing his team to the edge. But even Jobs learned to let go, at least a little. As Apple grew, he began to trust others with his vision, delegating more and focusing on what really mattered. That shift—trading perfection for progress—helped Apple reach millions and echoes what psychologists like Curran now recommend: set realistic goals and avoid the burnout that comes with doing it all yourself.

The music world offers its own lessons. Pop star Ariana Grande has spoken candidly about the pressure to maintain a flawless image, especially under the spotlight of fame. After the tragic Manchester bombing in 2017, Grande’s perfectionist streak made her anxiety and PTSD even harder to bear. Yet, she found healing not in more achievement, but in gentleness—with herself and with her fans. Through her music and messages, she now encourages others to embrace their imperfections and practice self-compassion, a message that aligns perfectly with Curran’s call to value inner worth over chasing external approval.

Prophetic guidance

Modern psychology reminds us of the dangers of perfectionism, but this wisdom is not new. Long before today’s research, the teachings of Prophet Muhammad, Moses, and Jesus, peace be upon them, offered a spiritual antidote. Their lives and words emphasize humility, trust in God, and compassion, guiding us gently away from the trap of unattainable standards.

Humility and moderation

In the Islamic tradition, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is honored as al-Insan al-Kamil—the perfect human. Yet, his perfection was not about flawless performance, but about moral excellence, humility, and trust in God (tawakkul). The Qur’an highlights this sincerity:
“Say: ‘My prayer, my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for God, the Lord of the worlds’” (6:162).

Prophet Muhammad taught that faith is meant to bring ease, not hardship:
“The religion is ease, and whoever makes the religion hard for himself will be overcome by it” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Book 2, Hadith 38).

His life offers many examples—when faced with rejection in Mecca, he trusted in God’s plan and found a new beginning in Medina (Qur’an 3:33). When a companion pushed himself too hard in worship, the Prophet reminded him, “Your body has a right over you” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Book 31, Hadith 187), gently encouraging balance and moderation.

Interestingly, what the Prophet modeled centuries ago now finds support in modern research: a 2023 SpringerLink study notes that trusting in God’s plan (tawakkul) can foster resilience and well-being, aligning closely with what psychologists today call self-compassion. His message remains clear: focus on intention and balance, not on flawless outcomes.

Embracing fallibility

Prophet Moses, peace be upon him, shows us the value of accepting our human limitations. Both the Qur’an and the Torah recount moments when Moses struggled: his accidental killing of an Egyptian (Qur’an 28:15–21), and his prayer for his speech to be more fluent (Exodus 4:10; Qur’an 20:25–28). Yet, God reassured him, “I will be with your mouth” (Exodus 4:12), a reminder that divine support carries us where perfection cannot. At the shores of the Red Sea, Moses chose trust over self-reliance (Qur’an 26:62), embracing his vulnerability.

Modern writers compare Moses and Muhammad’s reliance on divine guidance, not personal perfection (WhyIslam.org). Moses’s willingness to acknowledge mistakes and seek forgiveness (Qur’an 28:16) mirrors what psychologists call “radical acceptance,” a key ingredient for spiritual and emotional growth.

Compassion over perfection

Jesus’s life and teachings consistently prioritized compassion and spiritual sincerity over the impossible pursuit of flawlessness. According to the scriptures, his miracles relied not on personal perfection, but on trust in God’s power (Qur’an 3:49). When Jesus called on his followers to “be perfect” (Matthew 5:48), his words pointed toward a complete love—a wholeness of heart—rather than unattainable performance.

He often challenged those around him, especially the Pharisees, for focusing too much on ritual and outward appearances (Matthew 23:25). Instead, he encouraged sincerity, kindness, and a deeper connection to the Divine. One of the most poignant examples of this is when he showed mercy to a woman condemned by others, telling her, “Neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin” (John 8:11). In this moment, Jesus emphasized growth, forgiveness, and the hope of starting anew.

A 2019 OverviewBible article highlights how Jesus’s message was rooted in repentance and realignment with the Divine—an approach that resonates with Curran’s emphasis on inner worth over external perfection. In the end, Jesus’s teachings encourage us to put love and faith at the center of our lives, inviting us to let go of perfectionism and embrace sincere, compassionate growth.

Conclusion

The Perfection Trap and related research make it clear: perfectionism can quietly erode our happiness, filling our lives with anxiety and self-doubt. Yet, the timeless teachings of Muhammad, Moses, and Jesus (peace be upon them) offer us another way forward. Muhammad’s trust in God and gentle moderation, Moses’s ability to accept his own mistakes, and Jesus’s focus on compassion all echo what psychologists like Curran are finding today—that self-compassion and realistic expectations can set us free from the need to be flawless.

By weaving together prophetic wisdom and contemporary psychological insights, we are invited to let go of impossible standards and to embrace “good enough.” In doing so, we make space for sincerity, growth, and genuine relationships—the things that truly bring meaning to our lives.

Recommendations from Prophetic wisdom

• Sincerity and Intention (Muhammad): Focus on sincere effort, as actions are judged by intentions (Sahih al-Bukhari, Book 1, Hadith 1). Set realistic goals, as Curran suggests, and trust in divine mercy.
• Accept Fallibility (Moses): Acknowledge mistakes and seek forgiveness, as Moses did (Quran 28:16), embracing Curran’s idea of radical acceptance.
• Prioritize Compassion (Jesus): Focus on love and mercy, as Jesus taught (Luke 10:25-37), aligning with Curran’s call to value relationships over perfection.
• Balance and Moderation: Integrate Muhammad’s moderation with Curran’s strategies, like limiting overwork to preserve well-being, as Jobs did through delegation.
• Community Support: Build supportive communities, as Muhammad did, to counter perfectionism’s isolation, complementing Grande’s public advocacy for self-acceptance.

References

• Curran, T. (2023). The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough. Scribner.
• Flett, G. L., & Hewitt, P. L. (2019). Perfectionism and psychological distress: A review. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 75(9), 1453-1472.
• Neff, K. D. (2020). Self-compassion: Theory, practice, and future directions. Annual Review of Psychology, 71, 47-68.
• Isaacson, W. (2011). Steve Jobs. Simon & Schuster.
• Billboard (2018). Ariana Grande opens up about Manchester bombing. Retrieved from billboard.com.
• Quran, translated by Saheeh International.
• Sahih al-Bukhari, translated by M. M. Khan.
• The Holy Bible, New International Version.
• Albatnuni, M., & Koszycki, D. (2023). Spiritual coping and resilience in Muslims. SpringerLink.
• WhyIslam.org (2025). Moses and Muhammad: A Comparative Analysis.
• OverviewBible (2019). The Beginner’s Guide to the Prophets in the Bible.
• Yaqeen Institute (2017). The Character of Prophet Muhammad.